8 Steps for Choosing Happiness and Living the Life You Deserve

8 Steps for Choosing Happiness and Living the Life You Deserve

My Instagram and email inboxes often fill with messages from women about how they are stuck in bad relationships or how my posts give them hope for change in their own lives.  Honestly though, Happiness is a choice.  You can take action and choose to work to get what you deserve, or you can settle and stay stuck in those situations.

In the last 5 years, I have experienced heart breaks and break throughs.  Last year I wrote an article about How To Heal A Broken Heart and if you need to start there before you read this, you can.  But in this post, I want to touch upon how I overcame the set backs, how I re-birthed, and how I changed my story.  I am my own walking experiment when it comes to manifesting and how to create the life I want.  So, I thought I would share my tips and strategy here about how to manifest the Life (and or Business) of Your Dreams.  If you are ready to really dive in to manifestation, you can grab my free Mindset, Manifestation, and Feng Shui Magic Course here.  

1. Get Rid of the Baggage

When you are doing what you are supposed to be doing in Life, it should not feel like you are swimming upstream.  It should feel seamless, easy, and graceful.  When you get to a point at which it is none of those things, you should start to get a sense that shit just ain’t right.  That is a time in which you have got to seriously evaluate all the things around you and start to weed out the things that are no longer serving you. 

For me, my life started to take a turn when I was in an unhealthy and emotionally abusive relationship.  Narcissists are reeeeally good at pulling the blanket over your eyes and slowly start to chip away at your soul (it’s done slowly so you can’t detect it as easily), until your confidence, self awareness, and belief systems are squashed into itty bitty shattered pieces.  And at that point, its pretty hard to repair millions of itty bitty shattered pieces, am I right? 

So, after finally coming to grips with it and choosing myself over my hopes of having a “family” unit, I changed my story.  I chose Single Motherhood with open arms, got rid of all of my belongings to move into a tiny house (a space that turned into my healing sanctuary that my daughter and I named the Unicorn House), and began intensive therapy.  I started a handful of side businesses and got a handful of other job working for people, and put my 2 year old into preschool.  I worked my ass off, humbled as fuck as a 32 year old single mama living in one of the most expensive cities in California.  But this was so much better than staying in something that wasn’t right for me. 

My point here is that when you begin to swim upstream, get rid of everything that is holding you in place there.  It’s usually relationships that no longer serve you, or jobs, or habits, or most definitely mindsets.  Say "au revoir!" and kick those people and or things to the curb.  Starting over is never a bad thing, you just have to change your perspective on it.  Start over without those weights holding you down, and I swear, at some point you will become that stunning Phoenix Rising out of the Ashes and you WILL look back on those hard decisions and realize they were the best decisions you could have ever made.

2. Tidy Up

Gosh, this has become so trendy lately hasn’t it?  Marie Kondo has made it such a mainstream thing, which is a great thing for womankind!  My experience with something similar to the KonMari Method was being introduced to Feng Shui during my healing years.  At the time I was really open for any type of healing and therapy that I could add to my arsenal of tools for rebirthing myself.  Feng Shui became one such thing.  I was introduced to a Feng Shui Consultant, Serendipity Consulting, at a women’s Happiness Retreat and began working with her that year.  I tell you in detail about that story in my Mindset Course and I share with you exactly what I did and how in a matter of 2 weeks my husband walked through the door without me looking for a partner, how my online business went from a hobby to a full time business, and how I was able to quite all my odd jobs all at the same time.  It was crazy!  Crazy beautiful. 

I highly suggest you learn all about these practices about how to move energy and manifest different sections of your life by how you keep your physical space clean and clear with the proper elements in place.  This is just another way you can keep from swimming upstream in your life. 

3. Pray Everyday

I don’t care who you pray to - The Universe, God, Goddess, Gaia, Mother Ocean, Buddha - whatever.  They are all the same in my eyes.  Having a higher power that you connect with in order to keep your mind in the right place, your vibrations high, your hopes up, and your manifestations manifesting, is so important, in my humble opinion.  Having Faith that you are always being guided is crucial to success.  Believing that there is a higher plan for you and that cosmic timing truly is a thing will get you seeing results.

Louise Hay is the master of prayer work.  Her book "You Can Heal Your Life" has prayers for anything in your life.  I use them daily -  Success Prayer, Prosperity Prayer, Letting Go Prayer - and there is pretty much a guided prayer for anything.  I use them daily and sometimes hourly, not joking y'all.  

4. Your Mindset Can Make Or Break You

It’s easy to feel down, to feel regretful, to feel guilty, and to beat up ourselves.  In Rachel Hollis’ book, “Girl, Wash Your Face,” she says that you would never tell a baby that she isn’t good enough if she isn’t walking by a certain age.  You just wouldn’t.  Therefore, you should never beat your own self up if things aren’t "going your way.”  Nurture your mind the way you would nurture an innocent child.  Be soft, be loving, be understanding. 

I keep my mindset in a gratuitous mentality.  I give thanks constantly for all that I have.  I recognize that there are so many women in this world who have nothing, who live in war zones, who live in cultures that cry with devastation when a baby girl is born instead of a boy.  Even when things were the hardest they had ever been for me, I acknowledged that they still weren't as bad as many other situations. 

I still walked around my tiny Unicorn house blessing each corner, each square inch, thanking the Universe above that I had a safe sanctuary for my daughter and that I could financially support the two of us.  Even if we shared a bed, and my Mothersun headquarters was actually my living room, and we ate dinner on a little stepping stool as a table while I sat on the floor and Sol sat in her elegant Elsa and Anna chair which happened to be the perfect size for her to sit at our stepping stool table top.  Being grateful and not worrying about "first world problems” that so many women scrutinize over can really make a significant difference in your whole life.  Just a thought...

5. Resilience

Life can be tough.  People can say no.  Things may not go as planned.  It’s not a reason to stop and give up.  In business, it takes about 3-5 years minimum to turn a profit, while most new businesses die within the first 2.  It takes 10 years to become a master at something if you are working the skill every day.  The most successful people work hard for years and years and years and then one day, they get an article written about their “overnight success,” which really means a decade’s worth of blood, sweat, and tears until they finally got noticed or their company landed the right transaction. 

I talk a lot about this in my Business Course.  When you are building something you love, you will hear a million no’s before you get 1 yes. Ok, maybe the odds aren’t that crazy, but you get my point.  If you just stop after a few no’s, well, I am not gonna sugar coat this, you just aren’t built for following your dreams.  Seriously though.  When you are determined to choose happiness and live your dreams, you keep pushing through the trenches, through the no’s, through the abuse, through the set backs and the heartbreaks.  Nothing stops you.  So please my darling, be a resilient force of nature.  Women already are, so you have that in your DNA. 

When you want something so badly, or if you know deep down inside you aren't living your truth and the life you know you deserve, its ok to work hard, make changes, sacrifice, start over, eat shit, get back up again, fall, aaaand once more get back up again.  Because the end result will be greater than if you don’t work hard for your dreams.  The end result will be greater than if you just settled because it was easier or more convenient at the time.  Keep pushing. Keep growing.  

6. To-Do Lists

Organization is everything and I keep a daily planner on me at all times.  I write my to-do lists monthly, weekly and daily.  If I don’t finish my to-do's, I move it to the next day or the next week.  I write down my manifestation lists, my business tasks, my goals and dreams.  Write it all down.  In my free Mindset course, I show you EXACTLY how I wrote my Manifestation lists and how in just one year, I turned my entire world around.  That’s a crazy fast turnaround time, y’all, going from millions of shattered pieces on the floor to complete euphoric empowering bliss. 

I am a one woman show in the Mothersun and the Captain enterprise.  So, yes, I wear all the hats and I would completely spin out of control if I didn’t write my to-do lists and my goals.  If you don’t already, make this change now.

My Fav Planners:

Passion Planner
Webster’s Pages
Emily Ley

7. Self Care

I am a very late bloomer with this one.  All of my 20’s I was so addicted to my first business, my screen printing shop and clothing line, that I was landlocked in my town for almost a decade, meaning, I never went anywhere, never went on a trip, never left work.  I never got manicures or pedicures, never a massage, rarrrrely got my hair done, never took a break.  I did work 7 days a week.  And I loved it. 

The first time I started my self care discipline was when I became a single mama and had to start giving up part of my time with my daughter when she went to be with her daddy.  I had read about this foreign “self care” stuff via Instagram actually.  All the mom and business accounts I followed all talked about the importance of this.  So, at the ripe ole age of 32, I tried it.  And boy did I love it.  I started getting manicures at the first of every month.  I started painting for fun.  I started to enjoy the sunsets on the beach by myself.  I binged watched A Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce on Netflix and let myself smoke weed and eat ice cream and giggle when Soleil was not around.  I did things I had never allowed myself to do before.  And it felt great.  And I am forever changed.  This is for mothers and business owners especially.  Burning the candle at both ends will never help you be the best you that you can be.  It just won’t.  The formula will never work out.  So, ironically, by taking time for yourself, you can actually be a more productive individual (and more happy!) in the long run.

8. Create a Biodome of Positivity

Surround yourself with good positive friends that pull you up instead of those who drag you down.  Surround yourself with people who don’t drink more than you do, who don’t gossip, who aren’t Negative Nancy’s.  Do surround yourself with successful and ambitious people, but in a genuine way!  Like, don’t just go find a group of rich women to hang with.  No.  I’m saying that you want to spend your time by being around people who inspire you, who teach you, and who keep your spirits up.  Do surround yourself with people who exercise, who eat healthy, and have good habits.  And while you are at it, why don’t you do the same for yourself.  Eating local organic foods and getting sunshine and exercise will make a world of difference in your probability for success in life. Fill your home with crystals and plants and high vibrational art and reminders that you are a warrioress.  I used to put post-its all over my house of notes reminding me of my power.  

So, now that you have a sweet reminder of these things (although I know you already knew this stuff!  You just needed a little nudge) if you would like to go deeper and get more specific, definitely check out my free Mindset, Manifestation, and Feng Shui Magic where I give you my exact steps I created to live the life of my dreams.  I literally give you my formulas and steps, the books I read and the podcasts I listen to.  And if you are here because you are an Entrepreneur and you are ready to up level your business, I definitely encourage you to check out my Entrepreneur Course where I literally teach you everything I have learned over the last decade of my life as a business owner.  You can even get my free play by play checklist of all the things you will need to do in order to get your online business off the ground,  grow it, and profit from it. 


New Beginnings Art Print


This print is from an original watercolor of mine. - high quality, super vibrant art prints - perfect 8 x 10, 16 x 20, 18 x 24 sizes, all easily frame-able Enjoy your new Mothersun artwork! I am so honored my art will be entering your world soon! Art is shipped in protective packaging and usually comes separately. XOXO, Mothersun

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Thank you for this article. I need it it without even knowing I needed it. I cried actual tears reading it and I couldn’t tell you why, all I can say is thank you!


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